You've got to love the Yahoo! Sports photos, especially when they feature Maria Sharapova celebrating at Wimbledon with a side of camel toe.

• Sharapova: I won't Stop Grunting @ Yahoo! News

Posted by ApeMaster at 09:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

Here's a commercial for Lynx deodorant (the UK version of Axe), it's pretty cool if you are into tons of chicks running in bikinis..

Via (pixelbomb), via (adrants)

Posted by teabag at 12:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If you're having trouble getting yourself interested in that other "football" tournament on the other side of the world, then maybe photos of the women of the World Cup will help your ritalin-famished attention span:

Posted by ApeMaster at 01:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

It's probably been too long since we've discussed Anna Kournikova around here, so here is a treat for those of you needing your Anna fix: video footage of Anna's 2005 calendar photo shoot.

• Anna Kournikova 2005 Swimsuit Calendar Shoot @ Google Video

Posted by ApeMaster at 04:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (49) | TrackBacks (0)

Natalie Portman's new boyfriend could probably use a bit of a shave.

• Natalie Portman and Me @ Egotastic

Posted by ApeMaster at 04:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

We're suckers for the endless conspiracies and the eye-rolling paranormal circumstances of ABC's hit Lost. But most guys will tell you that the real reason they're glued to the TV on Wednesday nights are the show's hotties, particularly bad-girl Kate:

• 'Lost' Findings @ EW.com

Posted by ApeMaster at 02:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (20) | TrackBacks (0)

If you've watched American Idol at all this season, you're likely familiar with sultry twins Becky and Jessie O'Donohue. While Jessie isn't competing in the competition, she has been by her sister's side the whole time, and was by her side two years ago when the two posed for Maxim Magazine. Get a closer look at the hotties at Maxim's web site:

• American Idol Twins @ Maxim Online
• 'Idol' Contestant Strikes a Sexy Pose @ MSNBC
• Beck Donohue Contestant Page @ AmericanIdol.com

Posted by ApeMaster at 09:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (33) | TrackBacks (0)

You seen the subservient chicken and carwash babes, now check out the subservient girlfriend (if only it was this easy) and the subservient stripper. [NSFW]

Posted by teabag at 01:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (85) | TrackBacks (0)

Yes, it's that time of the year again my friends, the #1 selling SI mag is now on-line. Gone are the days when you had to sneek the magazine into the bathroom... Here's to you, Mr. Al Gore, for inventing the interweeb.

While most guys just hitting puberty (or with a premature ejaculation disorder) won't last past the cover, make sure you check out Maria Sharapova's spread. Speaking of, we here at AC have admired this fine piece of Russian ass since she was 16.

Posted by Bear at 03:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (29) | TrackBacks (0)

Since the success and popularity of last year's Subservient Chicken, there have been all kinds of great knock-offs, and here's another good one from One of the Lads featuring three babes. While they didn't quite respond to all my commands, their responses to my requests of playing "hide the finger" and "wash the damn car" were pretty funny.

Posted by ApeMaster at 12:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (52) | TrackBacks (0)

You may want to think twice prior to heading out to Laredo or Thailand for some underage tricks. While it has always been illegal to tap under 18 foreign ass, the US governement never really had the authority to enforce your perverted acts in the states. Well guess what, they can now.

Although it had been illegal since 1986 to go abroad with the intent to have sex with someone under 18, prosecutors say the crime was difficult to prove in court. To get a conviction under the new law, prosecutors do not have to prove that U.S. residents left the country specifically to have illegal sex — only that they had illegal sex or tried to do so. The law doubles the penalties to a mandatory 30 years in prison for each offense.

Think of it this way, your favorite overseas (or in some cases Great White North) hottie will eventually turn 18. I know it's tough to resist temptation but is 30-years of ass pounding worth some underage sex? Uh.... I don't think so.

Actually now that I think about it, if you are really that hard up to pound underaged children, please don't cancel your plans in light of these recent events. You deserve to get what's coming to you and his name is Bubba.

Posted by Bear at 11:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (52) | TrackBacks (0)

For those with a case of the winter doldrums, self-loathing on the single worst day of the year, allow Anna Kournikova to take your mind off your own miserable existence. It's photo shoots like these that remind us why she's still our favorite (although one can't help but wonder who is responsible for putting her in that last bathing suit; they've obviously been spending too much time in nursing homes and deserve to be shot).

• Anna Kournikova Red Lipstick Photos

Posted by ApeMaster at 05:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

Her pictorial has not received as much publicity as say the over-hyped Reggie Bush but ever since she first appeared on "The Best Damn Sports Show Period", you have fantasized about her HUGE tits. Well, the long awaited appearance is finally here and unfortunately, I'm extremely disappointed. This is just another "Why in the hell didn't you do this 5 years ago?" token Playboy appearance so she can pocket a few extra bucks. Feel free to view the hard copy pictures in AC's NSFW Forum (WARNING: Images are Not Safe For Work). Additional images from Playboy's Cyber Club will be uploaded on December 23rd.

Update 12/23/05: Cyber Club pictures added.

Posted by Bear at 02:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (34) | TrackBacks (0)

This photo of OC hottie Rachel Bilson was just too good not to point out to all you perverts out there. Since Mischa Barton has been getting all the press lately, we felt it was only fair that Rachel not get left out. So, can someone -- please -- tell me what's going on in this photo?

• Rachel Bilson Loves Milk @ POPSUGAR
• Rachel Bilson Gallery @ Stuff
• Video Clip of Rachel Bilson's Maxim Photo Shoot @ Lemon Zoo

Posted by ApeMaster at 04:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay, so maybe it's a slow news week, but I love the LPGA and I'm not afraid to admit it. Very seldom are the things I love in this world more than Women, Golf and Asian Teenagers.

Ron Sirak of ESPN.com compiled a list of the LPGA's 2005 superlatives.

Two of my personal favorites:

• 12. Best No-Show: Danielle Amiee - Danielle was the trashy whore who won the Big Break III: Ladies Only prize but fluttered away after people realized she was one of those 'good from far but far from good' girls.


• 17. Worst Finish: Lorena Ochoa at Cherry Hills - this was the poor girl who could have bogeyed her 72nd hole for the win at the US Women's open but instead duck-hooked her tee shot into the pond and fell out of contention. Somewhere A-Rod is smiling right now.

Unfortunately Ron missed out on the most important superlative of all - Biggest Cry-baby Brat: Morgan Pressel.

I can't stand that little wench. I can't stand any little wench that stomps her feet and throws her clubs around the fairway like a 4-year-old who didn't get the toy she wanted on Christmas. Golf is a gentleman's sport - There is no crying in golf. This girl is walking proof why a woman will never be president. You missed a putt? Tough it up and move on. You shanked a tee shot? Go find it and plan your escape. If you want to play with the big girls, stop crying and be a damn she-man, er, woman like Annika.

And yes, I posted about the LPGA. Wanna fight about it? You wanted an update, didntcha?

Posted by bringthedoo at 01:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Just a reminder for all of you guys out there who are, err, looking for Christmas ideas for your ladies: set your TiVo, because the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is on tonight at 10:00pm EST on CBS. You know, just in case you need some "gift ideas". Because we all know that your girlfriend or spouse is "really close" to wearing the same size as Gisele and Heidi.

And, contrary to earlier reports, it seems that the show will be broadcast in HDTV. Which is awesome, because there's nothing more fun then playing the "spot-the-zit-on-the-Supermodel's-ass" game.

• Victoria's Secret Fashion Show @ CBS.com
• Victoria's Secret Fashion Show @ Yahoo! TV
• Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Photo Gallery @ Yahoo!
• Victoria's Secret Fashion Show @ Victoria's Secret Online

Posted by ApeMaster at 03:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

Got $100,000 or more burning a hole in your pocket? Like porn? I bet you do, Spanky. Become the CEO of your own state-of-the-art porn film production company by bidding on eBay in hopes of winning a profitable adult franchise. Just make sure you're at least 22 years old, live in a blue state, and that mommy and daddy approve of your new filthy, debaucherous lifestyle. Oh, and don't think you're actually going to get lucky with any of the porn stars, fatty.

• ENTIRE PORN COMPANY FOR SALE !!! @ eBay

Posted by ApeMaster at 01:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (109) | TrackBacks (0)

Since we've been on the topic of butts lately: Maria Sharapova shows reporters and photographers her fine championship-winning form. And, I have to say, it's clearly her best side.

• Maria Sharapova Is Flexible @ Yeeeah!

Posted by ApeMaster at 06:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Hey, I think the idea is great. Grab a couple of 18-20 year old lookers, pay them in merchandise and have them wave at potential customers for business. Of course, the local tight-asses think it's sexually demeaning and immoral, but hey, what do they know?

Take a walk by Victoria's Secret in a busy mall and tell me what you see... a 10-foot-tall, larger-than-life mural of a half-nekkid Heidi Klum. I mean her left tit alone is bigger than your whole upper torso! But just because the girls in Maine are made up of flesh and bone and not cardboard and ink, that makes it immorral? BAAH!

The best part? Even the police have been forced to get involved, and I suspect more than a few of the local officers were willing to go down and "investigate":

"Police officers have visited the store in response to complaints, but have found nothing illegal, said Lt. Peter Couture. He said there are no state or city laws that prohibit wearing lingerie in public."

Here's to you, edgy lingerie-store-owner lady. Next time I'm in Augusta, the first round is on me.

• New shop opens with live models in window

Posted by bringthedoo at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (245) | TrackBacks (0)

Like most people, watching the O.C. is sort of a guilty pleasure. It's not something that I easily admit to, nor is it something that I'm particularly proud of. I had never even seen the show until they started developing plotlines involving hot teenage lesbians making out on screen. I mean, how are you supposed to NOT watch this? Good marketing strategy there, FOX.

Of course, watching hotties Rachel Bilson and Mischa Barton make it a lot easier to tolerate the cheesy teen soap. And apparently everyone's got their panties up in a bunch after last week's episode of the O.C. purportedly featured a nipple slip as Marissa was getting up from her bed in her pajamas. You can see the video of the scene in question below, but with the crappy lighting and split-second nip slippage, what's the big deal?

• Click here to watch the video clip of Mischa Barton's nipple slip on the O.C. - 1.2Mb, WMV
• Mischa Barton Bikini Photos in our forum - HOT!

After the jump, we perform some forensic analysis on a few stills in Photoshop to see what all the fuss is about.

Continue reading "Mischa Barton Nipple Scandal on the O.C." »

Posted by ApeMaster at 12:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (126) | TrackBacks (0)

Anna, where have you been recently? Since you 'retired' from professional tennis to pursue your, um, modeling career, we've barely seen or heard from you in public. Has your marriage to Enrique turned you into a recluse? Or has that other hot Russian bitch Maria Sharapova been receiving all the attention and getting you down in the dumps? Lest we here at ApeChild not forget our roots and our favorite Russian tennis model, here is an old slo-mo video of Anna doing what she does best: picking wedgie.

• From Russia with Love - 569K, WMV format

Posted by ApeMaster at 03:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

In case you hadn't yet heard, Jennifer Aniston has been named GQ Magazine's Man of the Year. I know, I don't get it either, but apparently she receives this honor for "showing a lot of poise, grace and good humor during her breakup with Brad Pitt this year." I guess that makes her a man or something. Whatever. But at least she shows some serious skin, which, in my professional opinion, doesn't look the least bit manly.

• Jennifer Aniston is Woman of the Year @ GQ.com

Posted by ApeMaster at 12:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Remember ten years ago when Netscape was one of the most dominant technology companies on the planet? Back in the days before Microsoft and AOL entered the picture, when surfing the web and using Netscape were one and the same? Well those days have long since passed, and it's kind of funny to think that Netscape limps along these days as a rather cheap looking web portal. So what the fuck does this have to do with anything? I dunno. But they've collected a top ten list to rule them all: the top ten list of top ten babe lists. Sound confusing? It is. While I can't necessarily agree with all the choices by any means, there are lots of photos, and that's a good thing.

• Top Ten Hottie Lists @ Netscape

Posted by ApeMaster at 04:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (47) | TrackBacks (0)

Since we've been on a Lost kick lately, I thought it would be only fitting to share some more photos of a bikini-clad Evangeline Lilly on location in Hawaii on a little surfing excursion. Judging from all of the makeout pictures, it seems that the rumors of her relationship with co-star Dominic Monaghan are true, thus making him the luckiest hobbit on the planet.

Related:

• A love is Lost as show labors on
• Sledgeweb's Lost...Stuff

Posted by ApeMaster at 01:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mark your calendars and set your TiVos. The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, which was skipped last year after the uproar caused by Janet Jackson's flabby teat, returned last night to its former glory, and will be broadcast on December 6th on CBS. If you can't wait that long, you can get a sneak peek with the photos below:

• Victoria's Secret show struts back @ EW

Posted by ApeMaster at 11:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

Always a nice way to start the week.

2005 Miss Playboy TV Latin America and Iberia Contest Slideshow @ Yahoo!

Posted by ApeMaster at 10:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (31) | TrackBacks (0)

If you aren't tuning into ABC's Lost, you're definitely missing out. There's really no other reason for this post, other than for a little eye candy of uber-hottie Evangeline Lilly.

• Little Girl Lost @ Rolling Stone
• Animated GIF of Kate crawling through the ducts in the hatch
• Video of Kate getting out of the shower in the hatch

Posted by ApeMaster at 07:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

In case you didn't get enough of Janet Jackson's flappy funbag exposure during the Superbowl a few years ago, many major news outlets are now reporting that there's a video going around of Janet sunbathing in the nude, tapping her ass and rubbing lotion over the infamous controversial breasts. Like staring directly into the sun, looking at some of the photo stills from the video will probably make your eyes bleed.

The following link is not safe for work (or your eyes for that matter), so be warned.

Janet Jackson Nude Video Stills via A Socialite's Life

Posted by ApeMaster at 03:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (17) | TrackBacks (0)

Many of you remember the immensely popular Virtual Bartender from Beer.com that came out last fall. Sort of like a more aesthetically pleasing version of Burger King's Subservient Chicken, the beer babe would do just about anything you asked of her. For example, type "eat a banana" or "pillow fight" for a good show. There's even a great behind-the-scenes video out there which is almost as fun as the Bartender itself.

Now there's a Virtual Bartender 2, with two new lovely ladies and a huge new bag of tricks that will be sure to leave you scratching your thick caveman heads wondering just how the hell do they do that?

Posted by ApeMaster at 05:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (28) | TrackBacks (0)

Jessica Alba has been a hot topic of conversation around here recently, and her Hollywood stock continues to rise despite some real cringeworthy movies. But is there a more perfect creature on the planet right now than Jessica Alba? I highly doubt it.

Jessica Alba in Arena Mag. via Pixelbomb.com.

Jessica Alba frolics on the beach. Yummy!

Posted by ApeMaster at 04:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBacks (0)

Coke? Nose Candy? The White Lady?

I can't belive a supermodel would do such a thing! I used to think she was hot, now I can only think she's a hot cokehead,

Continue reading "Kate Moss is a naughty girl" »

Posted by ddy at 05:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

After her stunning appearance as host of the pre-Oscars show on Sunday night, I've been hearing a lot of grumbling that ET's Maria Menounos must obviously have fake breasts.  After all, for such a young, petite woman, how could those perky funbags be the work of God himself, and not of Dr. Silicone Bob in Beverly Hills? As a big fan of Maria's -- not to mention breasts -- I decided to take a closer look and present my own analysis on the subject.

For the purposes of this study, I have chosen a buxom, silicone-enhanced brunette of similar height and beauty: Carmen Electra.  So, without further ado, let's get this party started.

Comparison #1: Front

Notice the significant difference between Maria on the left and Carmen on the right. Carmen's breasts bare the trademark round, inflated, basketball-like properties of fake boobs while Maria's -- despite her youth and shape -- have the slightly droopy, downward tendencies of gravity's natural force.

Comparison #2: Side

Careful study of the photos above may not only cause blindness and hairy palms, but also reveal the subtle differences between real boobs and fake boobs when seen from a side angle.  Carmen's defy gravity, while Maria's just kind of hang.

Comparison #3: Side

This other photo from the side demonstrates that although the two ladies have similar ratios of body fat (notice the similarities in the girth of the arms), Carmen's fake boobs sort of burst right out while Maria's hide quietly in her blouse.  It should be mentioned that Carmen is likely wearing some sort of push-up device while Maria is clearly not, so this photographic comparison may be slightly biased.

Comparison #4: The Real Deal

Time to move to the good stuff: the close-ups!  From the front, looking straight at these sweater puppies makes it difficult to tell the difference between the fake taters and the real ones...

Comparison #5: The Real Deal

...But once you see these flesh melons from a more side angle, the differences between the two become quite apparent.  Notice the straight, downward slope of Maria's sheba to the left, indicating some natural sagginess and gravity; Carmen's, on the other hand, show no sign of downward pull whatsoever.

Comparison #6: The Real Deal

MOMMA.  MOMMA.  * BEGINS TO SUCK THUMB *  Again, if you look at the 3-Dimensional aspects of the boobs and take into account the downward pull of gravity, you notice that Carmen's tetons are sticking straight out rather than down.  OK, I've made my point. Maria's honeydews, which are just as beautiful as Carmen's, look more natural since they pull down slightly and don't appear to be inflated like a volleyball.

Comparison #7: I've Got Nuthin

Um, OK, I admit it.  There's nothing really more to say.  I've already made my point.   The whole purpose of writing this "analysis" was so that I could have an excuse to stare at these rib cushions.  And Maria, remember: it was ME who stood up for you when others said you were fake.  I can spot fake boobs when I see them.  And they're fine just the way they are!

Posted by ApeMaster at 04:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (390) | TrackBacks (0)

As most of us know by now, Britney Spears was married for 55 hours this past weekend, igniting a media storm not experienced since, well, the last time she did something stupid.  Jason Alexander, a lifelong friend, was the lucky bastard who wed our favorite lip-syncher under murky details and mysterious circumstances before hastily retreating to his home in Louisiana.  So what actually happened in Las Vegas?  We put our team of detectives to work and have assembled, as best we can, the chronology of Britney's big wedding day.

Friday January 2nd

2:00 PM PST: Britney Spears awakes at her posh suite at the Palms Resort & Casino after a hard night of drinking with friends.  She meets her groom-to-be (for whom she is footing the bill to stay in Vegas for the weekend) and other members of her posse and they head to Denny's for breakfast.  Britney orders a Moons Over My Hammy.

4:00 PM PST: Spears and company head to the Golden Nugget for a few hours of nickel slots and complimentary Pabst Blue Ribbons.  Spears is seen slapping an older gentlemen after he presumed she was one of the local prostitutes that frequents the casino.

8:00 PM PST: The posse packs into a limo and hits the Las Vegas Hilton for the $9.95 dinner buffet and decide to stay for a rare performance by an Elvis impersonator after they learn that Siegfried and Roy's show at the Mirage has been canceled indefinitely.

10:00 PM PST: The crew returns to the Real World suite at the Palms where they play several hours of Asshole, Beirut, and other drinking games with the complimentary Cristal provided by Palms owner and ex-flame George Maloof.

Saturday January 3rd

12:00 AM PST: After a few hours of heavy drinking games, Britney is seen scurrying to the suite's balcony, where she vomits up the $500 per bottle champagne and the prime rib she had at the buffet earlier.  Jason Alexander, not knowing that he would become Mr. Britney Spears within a few short hours, rushes to her aid and holds her hair back while she pukes.  Britney, despite already being a little tipsy, is enamored by his endearing acts and kisses him on the cheek, careful to avoid getting her vomit on his face.

1:00 AM PST: Britney, Jason, and the rest of her posse head down to the Rain nightclub, where Jason first learns he may have a shot of banging Britney Spears if he continues to get her drunk.  He orders several rounds of Kamikazes.

2:00 AM PST: Sick of the lack of intimacy at Rain, Jason drags a visibly intoxicated Spears up the elevator to the Ghost Bar, trying to separate her from her over-protective girlfriends.  Much to his dismay, they run into owner George Maloof, the Vegas big-shot Britney was once rumored to have been dating.

2:30 AM PST: Maloof returns to the VIP area where Britney and Jason are sitting with more complimentary champagne, only this time spiked with roofies.  Maloof, desperate to have Spears for himself, attempts to squeeze Jason out of the picture.

3:00 AM PST: Tired of Maloof's attempts to lure a semi-conscious Spears away from him, Jason picks Britney up, slings her over his shoulder, and carries her back down to the Real World suite.  To set a romantic mood, Jason lights candles and leads Britney into the bed where Steve and Trishelle had sex several times a day during the Real World: Las Vegas season.  As he is about to put the moves on her -- something he has fantasized about since his formative teenage years in school with her -- Britney suddenly stops him.  Spears drunkenly explains that despite what he may have heard in the media, she never had sex with Justin Timberlake, Fred Durst, Colin Farrell, George Maloof, or anyone else for that matter, and that she was still waiting until her wedding night before giving herself to a man.

4:00 AM PST: Knowing that his one and only opportunity to bone Britney Spears was slipping through his fingers, Jason calls down to the concierge and has a limo ready for the two of them.  He convinces the now comatose Spears that the two of them are going for a little late night drive down the Strip and promises her more champagne if she complies.

4:30 AM PST: After telling the limo driver to take them to the closest all-night wedding chapel, the driver reminds Jason that the two will need a marriage license first.  So a brief detour is made to go to the Las Vegas' Clark County Clerk Office, where Jason spends the last $50 in his wallet to acquire the license.  The limo driver assists by carrying the nearly passed out Spears inside so that she can sign the paperwork.

5:30 AM PST: Wearing ripped jeans covered in puke and a Von Dutch trucker's hat, Britney stumbles down the isle with the assistance of the limo driver, lured to Jason by promises of yet more free champagne.  After a short ceremony, Jason throws her over his shoulder, tosses her back in the limo, and the two return to their suite at the Palms.

6:00 AM PST: As Jason eagerly prepares to join his new wife in bed for a wild morning of honeymoon sex, his is saddened to find her passed out cold, incoherent, and unresponsive.  He shakes her, splashes cold water on her, and even bitch slaps her a few times to no avail.  She simply couldn't make it anymore.  Staring down at his beautiful bride Jason did what any other red-blooded male would do in that situation: he rubbed one out and cried himself to sleep.

2:00 PM PST: With an extreme hangover and dried up vomit all over her, Spears awakes, trying to piece together the events of the previous night.  She learns that Jason has mysteriously and rather suddenly returned home to Louisiana.  After calling down for her limo to take her girlfriends to breakfast, Spears finds a credit card receipt with a sloppy signature for the Strip's Little White Wedding Chapel.  To confirm her worst fears, Britney's limo driver shows her the Polaroids of him him walking her drunken body down the isle.  Spears begins to panic before realizing that the events of the previous 24 hours are actually a good thing: the media frenzy has begun.

Posted by ApeMaster at 01:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

The tennis career of our favorite hoochie-mama, Anna Kournikova, appears to be filled with uncertainty these days.  Her lackluster performance on the court coupled with nagging injuries and a jet-setting, high-profile celebrity personal life have left her once promising career in serious doubt.  But with never-ending endorsement deals, her much talked about modeling gigs, and a foray into fitness and music videos, television, and even movies, Anna has become a brand in and of her own.  There's absolutely no doubt that whichever path her career takes she will be successful, and the world will be following her every move -- not to mention the paparazzi.

So who will replace Anna as the hottest lady of tennis?  Fortunately there are several babes who both play well and look even better.  Just because Anna is sidelined with injuries and sitting out this year's U.S Open doesn't mean that there's no reason to watch.  The following three young women are the most likely to tear it up on the court and have you drooling in your La-Z-Boy begging for that tiebreaker set.

Maria Sharapova

Date of Birth: April 19, 1987 Birthplace: Nyagan, Russia Residence: Bradenton, Florida, USA Nationality: Russian Height: 5'9'' Weight: 112 lbs. Plays: Right-handed

Ahh, another beautiful young Russian with enormous promise (remind you of anyone?), sixteen year old Maria's grunts are some of the loudest in the business.  She was even ordered by a referee once to tone down her excessive noise or face penalties.  "It was one of the loudest (grunts) I have heard," her opponent said. "But I just played my match and tried not to care about it."  

I could make a really smartass comment right now about her grunting habits, but due to the fact that Maria is only sixteen, I'