Kal Penn, the star of of the stoner comedy Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle is reportedly joining the cast of "24" this season. While details of the new role are vague at this point, one can only infer that Kumar will play Jack Bauer and CTU's latest nemesis, a sinister terrorist whose plot to destroy the world is foiled at the last minute by an agonizing case of the munchies and a trip to White Castle after a CTU mole secretly replaces the tobacco in his hookah with the chronic.

• "Harold & Kumar" star high on "24" role @ Yahoo! News
• Haorld & Kumar Go to Amsterdam @ IMDB
• Harold & Kumar Official Web Site

Posted by ApeMaster at 09:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBacks (0)

No, I'm not talking about the new 103' Inch plasma, which is pretty freakin' sweet.

In today's Houston Chronicle (that's The Chronic to us in H), there was an interesting story topping the front page headlines. With Israel sending Lebanon back 20 years, oil over $75/barrel, wildfires out West, "The Big Dig" having issues (again), etc. you would think there's plenty of "news" out there. Apparently not.

Did you know that TVs can pose a health risk if they fall on you? Well what do you know, they can.

"It's become a real public health issue," said Dr. Stephen Fletcher, chief of pediatric neurosurgery at Children's Memorial Hermann Hospital. "Who would have thought?"

I'm not making a joke of children getting hurt or untimely death but come on. Do we really need warning labels on TVs stating that if this 100 lb object falls on your head, you could die? What's this world come to?!? And it gets better... Flip to the continue page and what's advertised adjacent to the story? A TV sale at Best Buy. Oh the irony!!

Uh, is this thing on? Try the veal? Don't forget to tip your waitress?

And on the lighter side (thank goodness), everyone has seen replays of Zidane's famous head-butt in the World Cup. This, my friends, was inevitable... The Zidane Head-Butt Game. On a related note, did you know a French lawyer is already in the process to challenge the game? It's true.

:insert derogatory comment about the French here:

Posted by Bear at 09:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Say what you want about Larry David. Say what you want about YouTube. But here they come together - by way of some masterful editing - to give us my hands-down favorite Curb Your Enthusiasm story line.

From now on... I'm like THIS!!

Posted by bringthedoo at 09:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (1305) | TrackBacks (0)

Here's a commercial for Lynx deodorant (the UK version of Axe), it's pretty cool if you are into tons of chicks running in bikinis..

Via (pixelbomb), via (adrants)

Posted by teabag at 12:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Isaac Hayes, the silky smooth voice of South Park's "Chef", has abruptly announced that he is leaving the show's production after nearly ten years. It seems that the infamous episode in which South Park's creators lambast Scientology and fellow Scientologists Tom Cruise and John Travolta went a bit too far. According to the Chef:

"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins."

A bit hypocritical, don't you think? Over the years, the show has poked fun of religion from every possible angle: Christians, Muslims, and Jews get regularly skewered. A matter of fact, I can't recall a single episode in the history of the show in which Cartman doesn't call Kyle a "stupid Jew". Yet the first time South Park pokes a little fun at Scientology, Isaac Hayes whines and quits his iconic role. Says co-creator Matt Stone:

"This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology... He has no problem -- and he's cashed plenty of checks -- with our show making fun of Christians."

After all this time, it's going to be sad without the Chef. Who's going to serve hot lunch while providing the kids with the grown-up advice they need?

• Scientologist Isaac Hayes quits 'South Park' @ MSNBC
• Trapped in the Closet @ Wikipedia

Posted by ApeMaster at 09:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

While SNL has become unwatchable the last few years, they occasionally do produce a good skit here and there. For those of you (myself included) that didn't get a chance to see these two recent shorts, Lazy Sunday and Natalie Portman's rap, I suggest you do while there's still time. NBC's lawyers are searching the net and issuing cease-and-desist orders to various websites because of copyright infringements. Of course, you can always legally download these shorts from NBC's video site for the low, low price of only $1.99 each.

I trust you will do the "right" thing, right?

Update: Secondary Portman links -> here and here (scroll all the way down. Props to JTB)

Posted by Bear at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

The hype for the return of The Sopranos continues to grow as the season's premiere draws closer. This Sunday will be a treat for fans of the show, who can expect Season Six to start with a bang. From the Chicago Sun Times:

"Now, something shocking will happen...there will be shootings, at least one more funeral, and an ensemble cast's worth of story lines.

On the immediate horizon is a surprise, an enormous character development that will undoubtedly freak out many fans."

Sounds like we're in for a treat this season, even if the end of the series is imminent. Let the blitz begin.

• Starting it off with a big bang! @ NY Daily News
• Newsweek interview with Sopranos creator David Chase about The End @ MSNBC
• 'Sopranos' Creator Is Still Family Boss @ Yahoo!
• The Sopranos: The Life They've Chosen @ Chicago Sun Times
• Sopranos Returns with haunting kickoff @ MSNBC
• 'The Sopranos' returns with the end in sight -- and that just makes everything juicier @ SF Chronicle
• 'Sopranos' two families can't stay separate @ MSNBC

Posted by ApeMaster at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (34) | TrackBacks (0)

We're suckers for the endless conspiracies and the eye-rolling paranormal circumstances of ABC's hit Lost. But most guys will tell you that the real reason they're glued to the TV on Wednesday nights are the show's hotties, particularly bad-girl Kate:

• 'Lost' Findings @ EW.com

Posted by ApeMaster at 02:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (20) | TrackBacks (0)

In less than just two weeks, the wait will finally be over. It seems like a pop-culture eternity since we last saw fresh episodes of TV's best series -- June 2004 to be exact -- and the premiere of the sixth season of The Sopranos couldn't have come at a better time. The promotional blitz has begun, including this cool new interactive crime map from HBO, and fans of the show are being treated to a variety of teasers, interviews, and insight from the shows creators and stars. Enjoy it now, as it will be one of the last times we will get to experience this sort of pop-culture anticipation.

• Watch the Season Six Sopranos Clip Trailer @ HBO.com
• The Last Aria of Tony Soprano @ the NY Times
• Can't Remember Who Whacked Whom? @ the NY Times
• What to Look For on The Sopranos @ the NY Post
• Bada bing! Sopranos movie a possibility @ MSNBC

Posted by ApeMaster at 12:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (20) | TrackBacks (0)

If it seems like a scene straight out of Curb Your Enthusiasm, that's because it is. In one infamous episode of the show last year, Larry David picks up a prostitute -- not for sex, but rather so that he can use the car pool lane on his way to a ball game. In a case of life nearly imitating art, a 53 year old Colorado man was arrested yesterday for dressing up a mannequin in his passenger seat and using the car pool lane on his commute. I guess is was a good thing he opted for the dummy instead of a whore; his $115 fine probably would have been a lot more.

• Police: Driver Uses Mannequin in HOV Lane @ Yahoo!

Posted by ApeMaster at 09:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (32) | TrackBacks (0)

Last week's American Idol actually had some pretty comedic moments, but none more so than the audition of Crystal Parizanski. The sixteen-year-old, in front of a television audience in the tens of millions, proved that she is no doubt one of the dumbest human beings on the planet, not to mention one of the freakiest-looking. Which is saying a lot in a world of Paris Hiltons and Jessica Simpsons. The best part? Her momma, who got a television roasting of her own and resembles the product of a horrific sex-change operation gone awry.

Posted by ApeMaster at 04:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (31) | TrackBacks (0)

This photo of OC hottie Rachel Bilson was just too good not to point out to all you perverts out there. Since Mischa Barton has been getting all the press lately, we felt it was only fair that Rachel not get left out. So, can someone -- please -- tell me what's going on in this photo?

• Rachel Bilson Loves Milk @ POPSUGAR
• Rachel Bilson Gallery @ Stuff
• Video Clip of Rachel Bilson's Maxim Photo Shoot @ Lemon Zoo

Posted by ApeMaster at 04:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

It's no secret that SNL has been going downhill faster than Britney's Bikini Calendar stock. So it was definately a breath of fresh air to catch Dane Cook on SNL last week.

Dane and I actually went to the same high school, so it's good to see someone else having the same amount of success as I have in my years since graduation. God knows it's been tough on me, hogging all the limelight over everyone else from good ol' AHS. I'm glad he came along to take some of the pressure off.

I say good for Dane and good for SNL finally casting some talent and putting together a decent show for the first time in the new millenium.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fetch me a can of cashews.

• Dane Cook's SNL Monologue
(courtesy of danwho.net)

Posted by bringthedoo at 08:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Just a reminder for all of you guys out there who are, err, looking for Christmas ideas for your ladies: set your TiVo, because the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is on tonight at 10:00pm EST on CBS. You know, just in case you need some "gift ideas". Because we all know that your girlfriend or spouse is "really close" to wearing the same size as Gisele and Heidi.

And, contrary to earlier reports, it seems that the show will be broadcast in HDTV. Which is awesome, because there's nothing more fun then playing the "spot-the-zit-on-the-Supermodel's-ass" game.

• Victoria's Secret Fashion Show @ CBS.com
• Victoria's Secret Fashion Show @ Yahoo! TV
• Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Photo Gallery @ Yahoo!
• Victoria's Secret Fashion Show @ Victoria's Secret Online

Posted by ApeMaster at 03:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

Jennifer Garner, still recuperating from the news that her show Alias has been canceled, looks so pregnant that you'd expect little green aliens or CIA probes to come busting out of her belly. Perhaps the only thing more scary is the thought of her giving birth to a litter of little Ben Afflecks, who will then all grow up to star in sequels to movies like Armageddon, Daredevil, and Pearl Harbor.

• Jennifer Garner's still fetching Starbucks
• The Daily Jennifer Bump Watch

Posted by ApeMaster at 04:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (52) | TrackBacks (0)

First there was the Subservient Chicken. Then there were the lovely Virtual Bartenders. And now, there's the Subservient Donald. Fortunately for everyone, the Donald doesn't remove his clothes, but you can instruct him to do some pretty funny stuff. Try telling him to pick his nose for example.

The site appears to be presented by the Writers Guild of America, upset by the invasion of product placement in reality television shows and the fact that they aren't getting a piece of the pie. And while there's nothing cheesier than watching the contestants of Survivor pimping Folgers Coffee in the middle of the jungle, I think we're only seeing the beginning of the "Tivo" era of product placement in just about everything we watch.

• Writers mock entertainment industry online

Posted by ApeMaster at 12:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Like most people, watching the O.C. is sort of a guilty pleasure. It's not something that I easily admit to, nor is it something that I'm particularly proud of. I had never even seen the show until they started developing plotlines involving hot teenage lesbians making out on screen. I mean, how are you supposed to NOT watch this? Good marketing strategy there, FOX.

Of course, watching hotties Rachel Bilson and Mischa Barton make it a lot easier to tolerate the cheesy teen soap. And apparently everyone's got their panties up in a bunch after last week's episode of the O.C. purportedly featured a nipple slip as Marissa was getting up from her bed in her pajamas. You can see the video of the scene in question below, but with the crappy lighting and split-second nip slippage, what's the big deal?

• Click here to watch the video clip of Mischa Barton's nipple slip on the O.C. - 1.2Mb, WMV
• Mischa Barton Bikini Photos in our forum - HOT!

After the jump, we perform some forensic analysis on a few stills in Photoshop to see what all the fuss is about.

Continue reading "Mischa Barton Nipple Scandal on the O.C." »

Posted by ApeMaster at 12:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (126) | TrackBacks (0)

Since we've been on a Lost kick lately, I thought it would be only fitting to share some more photos of a bikini-clad Evangeline Lilly on location in Hawaii on a little surfing excursion. Judging from all of the makeout pictures, it seems that the rumors of her relationship with co-star Dominic Monaghan are true, thus making him the luckiest hobbit on the planet.

Related:

• A love is Lost as show labors on
• Sledgeweb's Lost...Stuff

Posted by ApeMaster at 01:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mark your calendars and set your TiVos. The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, which was skipped last year after the uproar caused by Janet Jackson's flabby teat, returned last night to its former glory, and will be broadcast on December 6th on CBS. If you can't wait that long, you can get a sneak peek with the photos below:

• Victoria's Secret show struts back @ EW

Posted by ApeMaster at 11:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

If you aren't tuning into ABC's Lost, you're definitely missing out. There's really no other reason for this post, other than for a little eye candy of uber-hottie Evangeline Lilly.

• Little Girl Lost @ Rolling Stone
• Animated GIF of Kate crawling through the ducts in the hatch
• Video of Kate getting out of the shower in the hatch

Posted by ApeMaster at 07:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

It was only a matter of time. In just a few short weeks, the Video iPod has managed to hit the market, sell a million videos on iTunes, and now it appears a killer app is on the way. If watching two-inch clips of Desperate Housewives' Teri Hatcher and Nicolette Sheridan aren't quite providing the titillation you were hoping for, fear not -- because an avalanche of Video iPod porn is on the way. According to this article from MSNBC, an online search engine called Guba has been quietly converting volumes of video porn for the iPod:

Beginning this month, Guba will convert video files from Usenet into the format used by the iPod, known as H.264. Apple CEO Steve Jobs launched the video-enabled iPod last month along with deals to sell downloadable music videos and TV shows.

"We can kid ourselves, but in the end it's probably porn that people want," said Guba chief executive Thomas McInerney. He noted that the site offers a "safe mode" to filter out adult content.

No matter what way you look at it, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PORN. The PC wasn't created out of the need for better bookkeeping; the internet wasn't born so that university researchers could easily share information; and the Video iPod sure as shit wasn't created so that we can watch Lost on a two inch TV.

Search engine preps porn for video iPod from MSNBC

Posted by ApeMaster at 12:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (48) | TrackBacks (0)

One of the most annoying things about owning a Tivo for me lately has been the way that the networks are adjusting their schedules so that shows will run a minute or two past the hour or half hour, so that a show will end at 10:01pm. If you have a show that is supposed to record at 10:00, it won't due to that lousy fucking extra minute. The networks know this pisses us off, and they do it intentionally. Just a little annoying wrench tossed into Tivo's gears to say a friendly "Fuck you" for being able to fast forward through their shitty commercials.

This is especially a problem for me on Wednesday nights. ABC's Lost will air from 9:00 to 10:01pm, thus causing my Tivo to skip new episodes of South Park on Comedy Central at 10:00.

So I was happy to hear today that Tivo is fighting back with technology called Overlap Protection, built into the latest release of their software. With OP enabled, shows with a higher priority in your Season Pass manager will get priority, but will still start recording the overlapped show at 10:01pm.

Tivo 7.2.1 software update dissected with pictures (via Gizmodo)

Posted by ApeMaster at 12:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

We here at ApeChild.com are no strangers to the good old fashioned joy of watching television.  Where once I strongly rejected television and the popular culture that it defined and represented, I have since fully embraced it.  Maybe it's because I'm older and wiser now, removed several years from my hippie student mentality.  Or maybe it's because I'm a techie by trade.  Or maybe it's because I can finally afford the kickass TV and home theatre system that I could only dream about while I was in college.  Whatever the reason, since I was introduced to TiVo, my very concept of television has been flipped upside down, shoved headfirst into a toilet, and then flushed like a giant super-swirly.

I won't bore everyone with an explanation or review of how TiVo works, as there are already plenty of resources out there for those interested in learning more about TiVo and other digital video recorders (DVRs).  But to sum up the benefit of having a DVR like a TiVo, let me put it this way: when you do watch TV, you end up watching the shows you like without wasting all night searching for something good.  Channel surfing has all but been eliminated from my living room.  And you NEVER have to worry about missing a new episode of The Simpsons because you couldn't make it home from that barbecue in time; when you get back, Bart, Homer and the gang will be right there waiting for you.

So, without further hesitation, we present our recommendations for worthwhile watching, whether you have a TiVo or not.

ApeMaster's Picks:

	Monster Garage Watch Jesse James and his revolving team of designers, mechanics, welders, and engineers as they transform ordinary cars into monster machines.  The machines they build are sweet, such as a hot dog cart-turned-dragster, or a Porsche-turned-golf ball collector.  You have to see it to believe it.	Mondays 8:00 PM ET
	American Chopper Quite possibly the best reality show on television, Discovery's 'Chopper' follows the adventures of the Teutul's, a father and son team who run Orange County Choppers in Rock Tavern, NY, building amazing custom choppers.	Mondays 10:00 PM ET
	Surf Girls Surf Girls is a shameless opportunity to watch a dozen or so 18 to 22 year-old hotties prancing around the beach in their bikinis.  I guess they also surf or something.  The actual show is lame, but whenever I start watching, I find it difficult to change the channel.	Mondays 10:30 PM ET
	24 24 is quite possibly the best spy thriller on television, creating suspense like few other shows can provide.  Not only is it highly addictive, but it provides a wide array of hot chicks to feast your eyes on.  Kiefer Sutherland is an exceptional actor, and the show's unconventional yet innovative format (each episode takes place in the course of one hour out of a 24 hour day--get it?) has bended the rules of traditional TV.  One warning though: try watching this through the entire season, or you might find yourself scratching your big, nasty head.	Tuesdays 9:00 PM ET
	Crank Yankers Who would have thought that the juvenile act of making prank phone calls could still be this funny?  Throw in some wonderfully produced puppets, some popular comedians making the calls, and a catchy jingle, and you've got a hit!  If you've still got that inner eight-year old inside you, you'll love Crank Yankers.	Tuesdays 10:00 PM ET
	That 70's Show I admit to being a fan of this show.  I'm not really sure why, but I like it.  In addition to the hot babes and stoner jokes, the show has an enduring appeal in its nostalgic use of high school pranks.  Thank God the kids finally graduated.  And aside from Homer Simpson, Red Forman is possibly the funniest dad on TV.	Wednesdays 8:00 PM ET
	South Park There isn't much that needs to be said about South Park, other than the fact that the show and its creators continue to push the limits of common decency while still being on of the most hilarious TV shows ever.  If you haven't yet see South Park, you've been living under a rock.	Wednesdays 10:00 PM ET
	Modern Marvels Modern Marvels is a sweet show.  Examining everything from hi-tech weapons, to cars, to every other amazing invention over the past hundred years, the show takes the mystery out of the world's coolest man-made wonders.  Like everything else on the History Channel, this one's cool, and luckily there are plenty of repeats since it airs opposite South Park.	Wednesdays 10:00 PM ET
	Chappelle's Show One of the best new comedies of the season is the sketch-heavy Chappelle's Show on Comedy Central.  Dave Chappelle is a true genius, and some of his characters and skits will become legendary as long as the show doesn't piss off too many people and get axed.  The hysterical race-themed humor and the slick production quality of his parodies can't be beat.	Wednesdays 10:30 PM ET
	Scrubs Scrubs is one of the most hilarious new sitcoms in years, and I have become a big fan.  The show centers around the unusual experiences of a group of medical students, their crazy mentors, and their days in the hospital.  What I like about the show, other than hottie Sarah Chalke, is its dark humor and unique style; I used to think this was another boring ER-type drama until I watched it for the first time, and I was hooked.	Thursdays 8:30 PM ET
	Insomniac with Dave Attell Follow Dave Attell around as he gets drunk and explores the nightlife of new cities each week, bumping into all kinds of interesting people in the process.  What I like about the show is that you get a bullshit-free glimpse of a city's nightlife from many different perspectives, unlike the more glamorous slant of cheesier shows like E's Wild On.	Thursdays 10:00 PM ET
	COPS What's not to love about this long running series that started the reality genre?  There's something so fundamental about watching white trash wife-beaters, crank dealers, and wrinkly old whores getting their asses kicked by the men and women of law enforcement.  It's a classic!	Saturdays 8:00 PM ET
	Saturday Night Live Despite its ups & downs, SNL has been an institution on Saturday evenings for nearly 30 years, and still remains as popular and funny as ever.  And the best thing about TiVo is that you can catch all of the SNL episodes even if you're out on the town getting your drink on and your stank on.	Saturdays 11:30 PM ET
	The Simpsons The greatest television show ever?  There's not much more that really needs to be said.  The Simpsons are currently the longest running sitcom on television, and for good reason.  Despite fourteen seasons of every conceivable story possible, the kids aren't getting any older, and neither are the witty social observations that make the show so great.	Sundays 8:00 PM ET
	Alias Another show in the spy thriller genre ala 24, Alias features Jennifer Garner kicking ass, assuming false identities, traveling the world, kicking more ass, and looking very, very hot.  If we're lucky, her spy gig will require that she wear nothing but her underwear, as in the episode from which the photo to the left was captured.  This is espionage and boobies at its finest.	Sundays 9:00 PM ET
	The Sopranos The Sopranos is another show that needs very little description.  The mob sensation has become a permanent place in our popular culture while continuing to deliver some of the best writing, acting, and directing of any television show--period.  It's just too bad the seasons only last a dozen or so episodes and take two years to produce.  I want more, dammit!	Sundays 9:00 PM ET
	The Man Show Simply put, The Man Show is the celebration of being a guy.  It's a time and a place where men can scratch their groins, stare at gigantic tits, and laugh at fart jokes.  What more could a guy want?  Sadly, the show is ending after four seasons and thousands of bouncing boobs on trampolines so that the show's hosts and creators can pursue other opportunities.	Sundays 10:00 PM ET
	Jackass Like Nirvana, Jimi Hendrix, and Jim Morrison, the legacy of Jackass will be that of greatness bogged down in controversy.  In a few short years, Jackass redefined shock comedy with outrageous stunts, hidden camera tricks, and other unspeakable pranks.  These guys did all the sophomoric things that every man has thought about doing but never had the balls to do.  The show may be gone, but we will have plenty of reruns to keep us happy for the time to come.	Sundays 10:30 PM ET
	The Daily Show The Daily Show's hysterical formula of tongue-in-cheek news satire, amazingly talented 'correspondents', and a unique outlook on the world make this one of my favorite nightly shows.  Some of the show's popular news-magazine-style parodies simply have to be seen to be believed.	Weekdays 11:00 PM ET
	The Screen Savers As a techie by trade, I'm a huge fan of TechTV.  The Screen Savers is the technology network's flagship live show featuring tech news, tips, interviews, and other hot technology topics.  And every Thursday is LAN party day!  Woohoo!	Weekdays 7:00 PM ET
	X-Play Another great show from TechTV, X-Play will likely appeal to non-geeks for two reasons: first, the show's co-host Morgan Webb is the hottest nerd on the planet; and secondly, the show is entirely about video games.  And everyone loves video games, right?  Their game reviews are some of the best in the biz.	Weekdays 11:30 PM ET

Posted by ApeMaster at 02:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)