The title, while certainly not politically correct, wasn't my idea; this is actually the title of a recent Jerry Springer episode. And while I might burn in the fiery pits of Hell for finding this funny, I surely can't be the only one, as the video has been viewed 255,000 times. The video on Youtube is not safe for anyone offended by little people kicking the crap out of each other over a girl.
Here's an example of the perfect way to spoil a good ol' romantic moment.
Finally a good use for scooters!
Say what you want about Larry David. Say what you want about YouTube. But here they come together - by way of some masterful editing - to give us my hands-down favorite Curb Your Enthusiasm story line.
From now on... I'm like THIS!!
The High Times magazine's softball team has started creating hilarious "potcasts" of each of their softball games in Central Park against other NYC-based magazines. A summary of their recent matchup against The Onion can be seen below. Not bad for a bunch of stoners.
Here is a video clip featuring A-Rod demonstrating what he does best and why he gets paid the big bucks. Not to mention where he got his fruity nickname. Let's just pray that the Yankees manage to keep him away from their batboys.
"What Jimmy didn't know that Ralph was sick. A sickness that wasn't visible like smallpox, but no less dangerous and contagious. A sickness of the mind. You see, Ralph was a homosexual, a person who demands an intimate relationship with members of their own sex." Yikes.
It's probably been too long since we've discussed Anna Kournikova around here, so here is a treat for those of you needing your Anna fix: video footage of Anna's 2005 calendar photo shoot.
QVC host: "What kinds of things are you using your new Dell for, Randy?"
Randy (caller): "Well, you know, personal things, like porno. LOTS of porno. These new Dells are great for porno."
Hey, at least he's being honest.
As with many film dynasties, commercial and critical success often leads to sequels and spin-offs. Great films like Earnest Goes to Hell and Police Academy 19 were only made possible because of the success of the original. And so it is the case with this year's highly acclaimed Brokeback Mountain.
While the NHLPA was forced to concede to a slate of new rules in the NHL this year that has toned down the violence in the sport, at least the Romanians aren't letting things like "rules" and "fines" get in the way of a good ol' fashioned stick-swinging, face-smashing, bench-clearing brawl.
Last week's American Idol actually had some pretty comedic moments, but none more so than the audition of Crystal Parizanski. The sixteen-year-old, in front of a television audience in the tens of millions, proved that she is no doubt one of the dumbest human beings on the planet, not to mention one of the freakiest-looking. Which is saying a lot in a world of Paris Hiltons and Jessica Simpsons. The best part? Her momma, who got a television roasting of her own and resembles the product of a horrific sex-change operation gone awry.
There's nothing like that special bond that exists between a father and his daughter. Especially when you see the look of pure joy on your seven-year-old daughter's face when she learns how to fire a belt-fed .50 caliber machine gun for the very first time.
I pity the poor critters that might have been wandering around the Oklahoma hillside during this video in what more closely resembles Vietnam's The Valley of Death.
And if you make your way to the Oklahoma Full Auto Shoot's official web site, you will see the following quote on their home page:
"Due to a situation between Firing Line and The Bunker, we will no longer be having the OFASTS shoot at the D-Day location."
I don't know the story behind this, but one can only assume the "situation" involved something exploding and meeting an untimely end.
It's no secret that SNL has been going downhill faster than Britney's Bikini Calendar stock. So it was definately a breath of fresh air to catch Dane Cook on SNL last week.
Dane and I actually went to the same high school, so it's good to see someone else having the same amount of success as I have in my years since graduation. God knows it's been tough on me, hogging all the limelight over everyone else from good ol' AHS. I'm glad he came along to take some of the pressure off.
I say good for Dane and good for SNL finally casting some talent and putting together a decent show for the first time in the new millenium.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fetch me a can of cashews.
Christmas is coming soon, and so are dozens of women in this clever, safe-for-work Christmastime ad for a UK adult women's toy shop:
There's nothing like some good ol' videos of accidents. No, not the ones of dudes getting their limbs ripped off or of a small ultralight airplane running out of gas at a rather inopportune time, but rather the ones you can laugh at knowing that it's not at the expense of someone's horrific death.
This first video is a classic example of what happens when there are about 200 dudes racing bicycles on a narrow little road and one guy is showing off for the cameras. Oh, the joy of seeing the domino effect of twisted human flesh and aluminum bike frames. Watch the slo-mo replays of the very first guy to go down and how many other bikes level him. - 2MB, WMV format
I wonder who the genius was who thought of this brilliant idea: hey, wouldn't it be cool to have some skinny little model riding a massive horse down the narrow runway of a crowded fashion show? I dunno, I mean, what could possibly go wrong here? - 1MB, WMV format
Like most people, watching the O.C. is sort of a guilty pleasure. It's not something that I easily admit to, nor is it something that I'm particularly proud of. I had never even seen the show until they started developing plotlines involving hot teenage lesbians making out on screen. I mean, how are you supposed to NOT watch this? Good marketing strategy there, FOX.
Of course, watching hotties Rachel Bilson and Mischa Barton make it a lot easier to tolerate the cheesy teen soap. And apparently everyone's got their panties up in a bunch after last week's episode of the O.C. purportedly featured a nipple slip as Marissa was getting up from her bed in her pajamas. You can see the video of the scene in question below, but with the crappy lighting and split-second nip slippage, what's the big deal?
After the jump, we perform some forensic analysis on a few stills in Photoshop to see what all the fuss is about.
Continue reading "Mischa Barton Nipple Scandal on the O.C." »
Anna, where have you been recently? Since you 'retired' from professional tennis to pursue your, um, modeling career, we've barely seen or heard from you in public. Has your marriage to Enrique turned you into a recluse? Or has that other hot Russian bitch Maria Sharapova been receiving all the attention and getting you down in the dumps? Lest we here at ApeChild not forget our roots and our favorite Russian tennis model, here is an old slo-mo video of Anna doing what she does best: picking wedgie.
There's nothing better than videos of people kicking the shit out of each other. It just never gets old. But this video of a lacrosse game brawlfest takes things to the extreme, and virtually every player, coach, and spectator practically kicks the living crap out of each other. Nothing like a good old fashioned rivalry. The goalies getting into it at the very end are especially fun to watch.
The next video is of an extreme closeup of someone caught in the middle of a twister tearing its way through an Iowa town. Fortunately there were no Darwin Awards given out here, but don'tcha think the idiot filming this footage might have been just a bit too close to that thing? And if you're going to risk your life to take some video footage of a tornado, how about at least doing a decent job? The shaking and the screaming are bit annoying.
So, Paris and her rich friends come out of a nightclub all drunk, smash her Bentley, nearly run over a dozen people, and then get pulled over by the cops. The driver is clearly drunk, is slurring, and a passenger even says loudly in front of the cops that there's only one sober person in the car, and it ain't the driver. So what's a cop to do? Apparently nothing. Would the rest of us ever get this kind of treatment? Probably not without a Bentley and a famous hatchet wound. Check out the video:
The following commercials for Australia's Carlton Draught beer have been going around for a while, but they're highly entertaining and worth sharing here. The first video is the infamous "BIG" ad, and the second one is entitled "No Explanations".
Those guys from Jackass have surely spawned a lot of copycats over the years, most of whom end up seriously injured. In the following video clip of another Steve-O imitator, some poor bastard probably had a hard time crapping for a few days after this was filmed.
Check this guy's experiment with bottle rockets (via ebaumsworld).
Here's a hilarious video that's been making the rounds recently. A seemingly innocent college football broadcast provides some unintentional comedy as the camera crew cuts away to a member of one of the team's band members, whose job is to ring a bell. Unfortunately for the poor bastard, the camera angle makes it appear as if he's punishing the pope.
Here are some great video clips we've received over time. You've probably seen a lot of these before, but if you have any clips you'd like to submit to us, feel free to send them in! Some of the video clips here have been generously provided by Eatmail. If you would like to save these videos to your hard drive for future use, right-click on the link and select 'Save Target As...'.
